September 2010
1 post
I recently graduated and am in the process of looking for a job. I know that the Career Center doesn’t have the best reputation, but I figured it could hurt to go there for a little extra help. They recommended that I sign up with Valpo Connect which allows me to post my resume and view job postings. I thought I’d take a look, and in my search were a few jobs posted in the past month...
March 2010
3 posts
Campus Chalking
Not only did you chalk on the edge of the library walls, you chalked about some trans-gender appreciation day. Maybe I should just be happy this was done BEFORE the grade school basketball tournament and prospective student visit days.
Valpo Identity Manager
No wonder why I never got a hotel confirmation email while in Europe over spring break, Valpo decided to forcibly make me switch my password. Conveniently had to be charged international roaming phone charges to figure out the problem.
February 2010
8 posts
If you can’t understand the difference in between “then” and “than”, then you shouldn’t be in college.
editor’s note: guilty. consider this my resignation from VU.
Library
If you want to talk in the library, go to the stairs. Or outside. Or downstairs. If you can’t understand the concept of a quiet floor and why it is necessary at a university, than you shouldn’t be in college.
Stephen Anthony, Episode V: Anthony Strikes Back
I’m holding my breath that we’ll only get one email today, and writing my critique now:
This baby is pure (brown &) gold.
This headline is dismal. Cooper Std. Black is a reasonable font to use in some circumstances, but paired with a drop shadow and that spray paint, this is a whole different thing. Where did you get that spray paint brush? It is outrageously bad.
Both the...
Gelerson Design
Why is it that the engineering building is the most illogically designed building on campus? Is it because the awkwardest people on campus need to be in an awkwardly designed building?
There are several issues with the layout of the building; the most baffling is the bathroom locations. The main bathrooms are in a logical location down the front hallways. The men and women’s are located...
Parking suckssssss.....
I hate how, any other day, VUPD is all about enforcing parking with the proper tags in the proper lot and whatnot EXCEPT on days that VU Men’s Basketball is being played.
Yes, I realize that most of the games are after the hours that parking permits are being enforced, but why do they park a VUPD outside the parking lot entrance for Guild/Memorial for EVERY game?
Its very annoying to pay...
Library Printers
How come the library computers freeze up when I try to switch printing to single sided?
Stephen Anthony, Epsiode IV: No Hope
I think it’s time to award Stephen Anthony the title of “Official Muse of Brown and Gold” for his courageous efforts at sending out emails which are both graphically offensive and void of content, and for always having the audacity to send these emails out not once, but always at least twice.
In the last two days, there have been four of these emails (meaning I have gotten eight...
Heavy Traffic
I was crossing Linwood Ave to get onto Mound St and was almost ran over by a car going probably 55 in a 20 MPH zone. It was definitely a VUPD squad car. At least turn your lights and siren on if you’re going to drive like an idiot.
January 2010
5 posts
VU Battle of the Musical Artists
The 8 9th annual VU Battle of the Bands has once again topped itself in failure. First of all, Valpo finds it necessary for every concert to include seating. Here’s an analogy: A ‘chair’ is to a concert as ‘cheese and catsup’ is to ice cream. It’s one thing to include seating, but its another to leave a gap in between the stage and the chairs for people who want...
The Rack
If you hang out consistently in the rack, or “Games Area”, in the Union until 12 at night, you are a bad human being.
1) Why do you have to be so loud?
2)Don’t you have anywhere else to be? Homework? Reading? Work? Drinking? Anywhere? Ok…lets assume the ten of you all happen to NEVER do any of the above…then why hang out in the games area or all places? There...
Look out, Stephen Anthony
Who is Lisa Grubb, and why have I gotten eighteen e-mails from her in the past three days?
You have got to be kidding me.
I got this email twice in five minutes. An hour later I got the same email twice in five minutes again. That’s four times.
The! Horrendous! Use of Punctuation! Here is DISGUSTING!!!! ALL CAPS RANDOM WORDS!
Was this an attempt to photoshop pictures together? A) It doesn’t look good, and B) Why? Wouldn’t one picture suffice here.
The starburst at the bottom? Really?
And of...
A Few Open Letters
Dear VU,
Thanks for having the most underplowed streets in all of Porter County. It makes my transition back to Valpo easier when I see that nothing has changed.
Dear Bookstore,
I’ve worked retail before, and I know that it’s not impossible to have sufficient quantities of high-demand items in stock. Why I have to order half my entire booklist is beyond me.
PS - Professors,...
December 2009
12 posts
Uncyclopedia Article for VU →
I was directed to this lovely article with some nice satire on VU that appears to be written in 2007. As it is a Wiki, feel free to add your own information as you see fit, and to add it here as well.
2 tags
Shakes
Why the hell do people at Valpo not get up and actually do anything?
I remember when I saw Union Board giving away Milkshakes in Spring of 2008. All you had to do was go up to their table, take their invite to their stupid event, and you got a milkshake. They had 4 or 5 milkshakes sitting there.
AND NO ONE WAS TAKING THEM. AND THERE WAS A LINE AT FRESHENS.
SERIOUSLY. I mean, I always...
140 character complaints or less?
Tumbler accounts and Twitter accounts seem to go pretty well together, so in the spirit of increasing site awareness and receiving more frequent submissions from a wider range of people. Come find us @VUBrownandGold.
If you’d like VUBrownandGold to retweet your complaints, just throw a #BrownandGold, #VUBrownandGold, or @VUBrownandGold in there and we will consider it for retweet or maybe...
STD fundraiser?
Seen in the Union today:
Table, selling baked goods. There is a poster for the table which simply reads: “STD Fundraiser. $2 baked goods.”
I wanted to go ask them for clarification, but I simply couldn’t bring myself to do it.
I later was talking about this in my class, and found someone with knowledge about the table. It turns out STD was supposed to read ΣTΔ, or Sigma Tau...
Holiday Party
Brandt House Council threw a Holiday party and gave away gold chocolate Hanukkah Coins. Isn’t that a little racist?
Someone puked Christmas all over the Union and nobody is cleaning it up.
Why so locked?
I know that someone has already written about Gellerson being locked, but let’s take a second to revisit the locked buildings subject and focus on Schnabel.
I attempted to access it at 10:15 this morning in order to access the Torch office, and I found it to be sadly locked.
Why? Why? Why?
Everything in Schnabel requires fingerprint identification to get into. There is no way that...
Procrastination Prevails
I find it amazing that people will get up, go to the library and find a computer, just to sit down and play Farmville. What a waste of space, time, and money. I’m sure their parents are overwhelmed with happiness to know that they are spending time pretending to learn how to farm.
Library Hipsters
Sitting at a desktop computer while using your laptop does not make you cooler than me.
Please don’t turn the library into a social event. Certain individuals actually do go to the library to get work done. The only statement you are making by carrying on several conversations while sipping your grande mocha latte with skim milk as you surf the net on your hip netbook is that you suck at...
People who are sick (continuous coughing IS a symptom of being sick) should avoid common use places on campus, like computer labs. Its annoying and disgusting and I should not have to fear that I will catch your disease while I am trying to finish a paper.
November 2009
15 posts
imleagues.com - Intramurals at Valpo
Thanks for forcing me to use imleagues.com whenever I want to play intramural sports, Valpo. Quite possibly the worst website ever created.
FYI, I kick with my right leg, in case you ever wanted to know.
Gellerson Engineering and Mathematics Center
Is it necessary to put Gellerson on lock-down after 5pm? The only entrance I can get into is the front, across from non-existing parking spaces, and that’s after swiping my ID card.
I mean, I know Gellerson looks like a penitentiary as it is, but honestly, who are we keeping out? Gellerson is home to the creepiest students, not to mention some crazy looking professors. Is Valpo afraid...
Theo at Valpo
In my upper level theo class Tuesday, the professor’s first words were “Who wants to know about drug trafficking!?”
In class on Thursday, the professor also asked us “Do any of you know a eunich?”
Also, a few weeks back:
Prof:”A man inserts it, he thrusts it. What is a woman to do?” Student, after ten seconds of awkward silence: “…take...
Stephen Anthony pt. 2
This is actually one of the better looking emails that I have gotten from Stephen Anthony, and more importantly, I only got it once.
Some items can not go without critique though.
1) Why is this THREE separate images? How do you even do that?
2) Let’s lose the italics.
Here’s the question everyone is wondering though:
3) CAN I DRINK AT THIS EVENT?!
Edit:
Damnit! I did get...
Annoying UB Facebook messages....
Okay, UB. I’m excited about Owl City too. However, when you use grammar like this…
“if you have friends from schools near valpo invite them to the event and ask them to invite there networks. we havent put posters around town yet, but we are at the end of the week. so the tickets are going to go even faster!!!”
…you diminish my excitement.
CHG Sighting
Not only is Cape Hair Girl wearing a hat, but she just pushed a swivel chair halfway across the library for no apparent reason.
Do you ever play fat or pregnant? Sounds like an easy game, right? WRONG. Try playing it in the Union or by Grinders on a Sunday night. Valpo, you make this game tough.
Commuter activities fair
There are 10 student organizations here and 1 commuter student.
New Chapel Lights
While it’s nice that we have some cool new lights on the chapel, is it really necessary to have a front page Torch article about the change?
WARNING: DOORS OPENING
Valpo has so generously installed motion detectors, with speakers in Guild/Memorial to “warn” students when other students are ready to open the door so they don’t knock someone out opening the door. However….this very annoying voice decides it will speak when you open the door from the outside and walk inside, after the door has already closed behind you. And for some...
Why, when there are 10 other available computers, does someone feel the need to sit next to the only other person in the computer lab? Are they really that lonely that sitting thisclose to a stranger is how they get their fix? Annnnnnd…..this person smells. Thank you Valpo and all your awkward students.
“I hate every single computer & printer on campus and their talent to freeze...”
– Twitter
October 2009
11 posts
pepe's
How come everybody but the people who work at pepe’s know how to pronounce its name? It’s “peh-pays” not “peh-pees”. The second just sounds so ridiculous.
" 'i' Before 'e' Except After 'c'"
So today in lab, my professor was trying to write the word “weight” on the board. She stops midway through writing the word asks the class how to spell it, decides to ignore all of our educated advice, comments how she was wrong and meant to put the “i” before the “e”, and then was scolded by the class who proceeded to remind her of the golden grammatical rule:...
Library Computers
Mechanical mouses? We can get a high-speed fiber optic line but not optical mouses.
When has it become unreasonable to open print preferences in the library? Why must my computer crash every time I want to decide to print one side per sheet.
